Discourse and Desires

R came over this evening. I give you your nightly quote:

R: Oh, so, you gotta see these shoes I bought from this guy.
Sam: Fancy shoes?
R: So fancy.
Sam: Wait, who is 'this guy'? Like, a guy at a department store? Or, ahahaha, some guy on the street?
R: YOU LAUGH BUT HE SOLD ME SOME GREAT SHOES.
Sam: You bought shoes from a random dude on the street?
R: And they are the finest footwear I have ever acquired. So, it was two in the morning, right --
Sam: You bought shoes from a random dude on a street at two in the morning.
R: HE WAS A SHOE-SHINE!

Apparently they're really nice shoes.

Title: Too Good to Hide
Author: alisanne
Rating: PG
Pairing: Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Word Count: 100
Genre: Humor
Warnings: None that I am aware of.
A/N: Written for centaury_squill, who correctly guessed which fic I wrote for the snarry_ldws. Her request was Snarry, prompt: Kilt.
Beta: sevfan
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

( Too Good to Hide )

Happy Birthday today to

mom2enk!

and



phoenixsong71!

Many happy returns! ♥

Title: Malfoy Mistletoe
Author: alisanne
Rating: PG
Pairing: Lucius Malfoy/Hermione Granger, Severus Snape/Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Summary: A Malfoy always has a plan.
Word Count: 520
Genre: Humor, romance
Warnings: Potential threesome.
A/N: Written for for, who correctly guessed which snarry_ldws story was mine. Her request was for Lumione, prompt: Mistletoe.
Beta: sevfan
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

( Malfoy Mistletoe )

Either my flex spending account thinks I'm trying to rip them off, or they're trying to rip me off.

Maybe they think no one person can sustain this much injury in a year. It's baffling sometimes, truly.

For those of you outside the States -- health insurance, which I pay for every month, pays 80% of all my doctor bills. I have to pay the other 20%. To make up the difference, my company offers a "flex card" which is a credit card where a fixed amount is taken out of your paycheck pre-taxes and put on the card to pay for medical expenses. You tell them yearly how much money you want on the card, and they take a little each month to make up that amount, even though you get all that money on the card immediately.

Yes. Welcome to the reason we long for socialised medicine.

Anyway, I carry $600 on my flex spending account, which I've been using to pay for medical treatment for a broken leg, chiropractic adjustments, a sinus infection, and various over-the-counter painkillers and band-aids and such.

Every month, now, my flex card kicks a letter out to me saying JUSTIFY YOUR EXPENDITURES, SEND US RECIEPTS. It's not supposed to do this; the only time this is supposed to happen is if it's something hinkey, like you bought a Nintendo on your flex account or something.

Instead, my letter has WHAT ABOUT THIS BILL FROM NORTHWESTERN MEDICAL CENTER printed on the request. What the fuck do they think I'm buying at a MEDICAL CENTER if not MEDICAL TREATMENT? Prostitutes? Can I get those at a hospital? Maybe they think my theraputic massages for the left arm I CAN'T MOVE have a happy ending or something.

Relatedly, I decided to go for a walk today and now I can't put any weight on my left leg. I've had it elevated and I'm applying ice on and off, but if it's still nonfunctional tomorrow it's back to the Immediate Care centre for me tomorrow.

Argh.

Title: Reminder
Author: alisanne
Character(s): Severus Snape, Harry Potter
Pairing: Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Rating: PG
Warning(s): Innuendo
Challenge(s): Written for slytherins100's prompt #97: Fluke
Word count: 100
Author's notes: Yay for fluff week!
Beta: sevfan
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

( Reminder )

Guest character in next weeks Glee is named "Aphasia." This makes me giggle, like, a lot.

I need Glee icons.

You know what?
I love Galaxy Quest. I love it so much that I got the Blue Ray and I just spent an hour watching it dubbed in Thurmian. O.o
*g*
I think it's time to go to bed.

/random

Title: Big Difference
Author: alisanne
Word Count: 100
Rating: PG
Challenge: Written for snupin100's prompt #235: The Pensieve
Characters: Remus/Severus
Beta: sevfan
Authors Notes: A continuation of fluff week. ;)
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

( Big Difference )

My mother has a theory, which is genius I think, that the worse the economy is at Christmas, the more lights and decorations people put up. My own anecdotal evidence gathered since the age of ten suggests this is mainly correct. It's some kind of reaction formation thing. "We have no money, so this is going to be the BEST, BRIGHTEST CHRISTMAS EVER!"

Seriously, look around yourselves on December 18th. You'll see what I mean.

I have a new theory that is related to this: when the economy tanks, television writers start KILLING EVERYONE. I suspect it has something to do with desperation to retain viewers as the ad money dries up and things get more competitive, making use of the link between profundity and death. Which does exist, but not nearly as intensely as most professional writers think it does (see: modernist theatre's relationship to the end-of-show suicide. Just because it worked for Chekhov* doesn't mean it works for everyone).

At the end of the day, if one is searching for meaning in modern life -- meaning and ratings -- then death's not a bad way to go. That's crass to say aloud, but it's also true. And there's nothing inherently wrong with an examination of death, self-sacrifice, and our place in the world.

But seriously now.

The debate goes back and forth endlessly about the meaning or lack thereof in a given death on a given show, and if someone does find beauty and meaning in death, that's okay. I understand, better than I used to, why people do; if not emotionally, then at least intellectually. My theory isn't about whether a given character's death is profound or stupid.

It's just that there's been so much death on so many of my shows that I'm afraid to turn on the television. Meaningful or not, I'm tired of it. I'm scared next Tuesday Abby's going to get shot. I feel like I can't watch TV until unemployment drops back below 8%.

So until then I'll just be over here with my Stranger Than Fiction DVD.

* At the end of The Sea Gull, which culminates in an offstage suicide, the audience in Moscow was silent for a full minute. Chekhov thought he was ruined; he thought the play had tanked. It turned out, nobody could gather their wits enough to applaud, at first. This is an epic legend, in theatrical circles.

Title: Perfect Evening
Author: alisanne
Rating: PG
Pairing: Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Summary: Severus learns to deal with distractions.
Word Count: 100
Genre: Romance
Warnings: None that I am aware of.
A/N: Written for sweetmelodykiss, who successfully guessed which fall_fantasia fic was mine. Her prompt: Starry night
Beta: sevfan
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

( Perfect Evening )

I'm bendy again!

Say what you like about chiropractors, and I don't deny a lot of it, but I can bend over without looking like an old man for the first time in weeks. My wii fit trainer approves. He didn't even yell at me when I fell over during the Sun Salute. Which is a hard yoga pose to fall over during. But the point is I fell over because I'm a klutz, not because I had no lower-back mobility.

Also I have nasal spray that the doctor recommended, but I've never really used nasal spray before. Is it supposed to drip back out? I feel like my brains are falling out my nose when I use it.

HI. I'M SAM STARBUCK, BUT YOU CAN CALL ME MR. OVERSHARE.

Get Your Sexy Name

Title: Probed
Author: alisanne
Rating: R
Word count: 100
Characters/pairings: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Challenge: Written for dracoharry100's prompt #140: Pulsating
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.
Beta: sevfan
Authors Notes: Silliness, just like the prompt. :P

( Probed )

Title: In the Family
Author: alisanne
Pairing: Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Rating: G
Challenge: Written for snape100's prompt #308: The other family
Word Count: 100
Warnings: AU. The prompt was 'to imagine what might have happened if, at some point - probably before Severus started at Hogwarts, but possibly later - Tobias and Eileen Snape were no longer in the picture (for whatever reason) and Severus was taken in to be raised by another family.' This is what I hope would have happened.
Beta: sevfan
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

( In the Family )

Here is the repost of my final Snarry_LDWS submission.

Title: Shot in the Dark
Author: alisanne
Challenge: Written for the snarry_ldws week #9 submission.
Genre/Cliché: First Time, Humor, Angst/Flangst, Romance.
Phrase prompt: 'A shot in the dark,' OR, 'shot in the dark.'
Summary: Sometimes you need to take a shot in the dark to get your true rewards.
Rating/Warnings: PG/ None
Word Count: 100 x 5
Notes: Heartfelt thanks to my fabulous beta reader, sevfan, to eeyore9990 for her hand-holding and support, and to the slashchat girls for cheering me on for the nine weeks of this challenge.

( Shot in the Dark )

I need a doctor icon. No, not a Doctor icon, a doctor icon. Something I can use when I am pontificating on subjects medical. Anyone on my flist have a suggestion?

And then the chiropractor tried to kill me.

For real, I'm typing this with the last ounce of muscle strength left in my body. She worked me over for half an hour. She found every painful part of my body and PRESSED ON IT.

She thinks my shoulder pain from last week is actually some ribs that are "poking out" which I figure, that can't be good. So she's going to poke them back in, I guess.

My body hates me. The feeling is mutual.

I just received my wizard_love assignment...and they are all pairings I have never written before. On the one hand I can't help but think "Eep!", but on the other hand this means no one will be able to guess which fic is mine!

It's only Wednesday, but we're having leftovers tonight anyway. We'll have stirfry tomorrow instead.

Right. Off to work on my smutty_claus fic some more.

*twirls fabulous banner*
Guess what? I actually won the first round of the Snarry Last Drabble Writer Standing!



Isn't it lovely? Thank you, sra_danvers, for creating it for me. ♥

Now that it's over, I can chat a little about the experience.
( cut for thinky thoughts )

Thank you to the fabulous mods, asnowyowl and isisanubis, who ran a tight ship and who were always gracious and lovely. Thanks also to sra_danvers who every week came up with brilliant banners for winners and those who were eliminated.

My fellow drabblers were great *snogs you all* and my dear joanwilder, you always kept me on my toes. It's always fun writing with you. One of these days we have to end up on the same team for something. ;)

And last, but never least, thanks to all who voted, not just for me, but for everyone. Without all of you this would have been kinda pointless.

Now, I believe I promised the first FIVE correct guessers drabbles. That means centaury_squill, shiv5468, angela_snape, magialuna and prayer_at_night are entitled to claim drabbles. I won't insist on writing Snarry for you, you can choose any HP pairing you prefer, but I will need a one word prompt to do them, and of course, Snarry is always encouraged.

*glomps Flist*

♥